Steps of Stress Management
Introduction to Stress Management
This is our next post in “Stress”. If you haven’t read our foundation post on stress, I suggest you do so by reading our blog post about the meaning of stress and it's causes as well as symptoms.
If you have then you already know what stress is and also all the statistics around it.You are also aware of how stress presents in different people and that it’s a very very normal thing to be stressed.
When Stress starts interfering with your productivity or day to day life, that's when you've really got a problem. Some Amount of stress is in fact essential to survival and progress. When it gets out of hand, it needs to be managed.So in this post, we are going to cover all the different things that you can do to ensure better stress management
Same problem, Many Solutions...
People have different ways of responding to stress. Hence, what works for you might not work for someone else.
In the last blog(http://blog.typeathought.com/?p=1847) we read about how people can either switch to a mode of avoidance (fight or flight) when exposed to stress OR switch to a state of hyper alertness.
Whatever it is, you have to start by observing the root CAUSE of YOUR stress. After all, without identification of the root cause stress, there's not much you can do to control it!
Identifying the Root Cause of Stress i.e your Root Cause Analysis
So, How exactly do you do this analysis? Where do you begin?
1.You need to first look at your daily habits and the reasons you tell your self you have stress: For example: I have too many things happening right now. You can't really remember when you took a break in the near past.
2. Do you believe that stress is a part of life and that your life is always hectic?
3.Do you blame someone else or external events for stress or don't really make a big deal out of it. You just treat it as a normal event and move on. Don't give it too much importance?
The purpose of this is to basically understand what your role is in this game of "Stress". This is important so you can understand what to start working on first.
Start a Diary for Stress
Everytime you feel stressed, you need to make a note of it.You identify yourself as being stressed by looking for some of the signs we had mentioned in the earlier blog. For a refresher, check it out here (http://blog.typeathought.com/?p=1847).
So, Getting back to your diary. You need to make a commitment to starting a diary and making entries in it daily.
The diary entries should be under the following headings : C = Activating event ie what CAUSED your stress according to you, E= What you felt about this i.e what EMOTIONS you experienced.
Identify your coping mechanisms
Now, look at your Diary entry and see how you're coping with stress.Coping mechanisms can either be helpful or harmful.
Some of the helpful ways of coping are exercising, meditation, listening to music, picking up a hobby, Spending time with loved ones.
Some of the unhelpful ways are Binge eating, sleeping less or too much, Getting irritable and snappy with loved ones, Procrastinating(yes, not doing anything is also unhelpful), or Putting off work and shunning responsibilities(Can make a Quiz for this)
Now after you know where you stand in terms of coping mechanisms, you need to replace the unhelpful ones with helpful ones. People may end uptrying a variety of strategies until they find one that “works” – that is, achieves the desired goal.
The 4 A's
What are the 4A's?
They're basically easy to remember tools to deal with known stressors. Let's dive into them now.
The First A : AVOID unnecessary stress
Yes, I know avoiding things isn't the best way of dealing with them, but bear with me for a moment.What exactly should you avoid.
Let's break this down further into People, Places, Too many shoulds, To-do list trimming.
Let's start with People
Yes, you can avoid the people who give you too much stress. There's nothing wrong with that. Unless it's absolutely necessary in some ways, avoiding people who stress you out is a good strategy.
The second thing is Places
Avoid environments which can stress you out. For example, if you get stressed with a particular traffic route, take another one! Don't look at the newspaper if it gives you stress. Replace that with mobile news on topics which you'd want to know about.
The Third things is : Learn to say no to things which will overwhelm you.
Or to those things which are going to be difficult for you to handle in your current schedule.
The Fourth thing is to Prioritise!
Choose the essential things that will give you the maximum results to do first
The Second A : Adapt
Things change in life. We saw in the first part of this blog that humans get used to constancy. They get scared of change. You have to adapt to it. Take it in. Inhale it and live with it
The Third A : Accept
Accept things that you can't change: Can you swim against the tide for long? Can you beat gravity? Can you change the speed of light? No you can't! Many situations are the same. Learn to accept that you can't change it.
The Fourth A : Alter the stressor
Wherever it's possible you can try to change the situation. If it's dealing with a person then definitely express your views to that person but be willing to compromise on the same as well.
How do the world's Best deal with Stress?
Theory is all good. But let's look at some practical examples shall we?
1. Jeff Bezos
How does he deal with stress? He looks for "warning flags" i.e things which give him stress at any time. Then, instead of leaving it festering he DEALS with it as soon as possible. So it goes like this in his words
“I find as soon as I identify it, and make the first phone call, or send off the first email message, or whatever it is that we’re going to do to start to address the situation -- even if it’s not solved -- the mere fact that we’re addressing it dramatically reduces any stress that might come from it.”
Sound familiar? He identified the situation, took pro active steps to deal with it. Even the fact that you are addressing it can reduce stress !
2. Elon Musk
‘Starting a company is like eating glass and staring into the abyss. You have to do lots of things you don’t like. There’s no time to wallow and lick your wounds. Don’t let stress sideline you. Instead, use it as fuel to keep rocketing ahead, maybe even all the way to Mars.. "
So what is he doing? Is he letting stress bring him down? No, on the contrary he is using it to propel himself to mars. He uses stress as fuel. He is more of the Fight or Flight type of person. He doesn't let stress get in the way. He just goes ahead and does what's needed and uses stress as a catalyst.
3. Bill Gates
"To work on things that really count, to think through the basics, THAT is pure genius" Basically, PRIORITISING is crucial. You can't do EVERYTHING WELL. But, you can do SOMETHINGS REALLY well
4.Susan Wojcicki (CEO of Youtube)
She says that she deals with stress by taking the required time off to switch off completely and disconnect. This allows your mind to focus and not wander about endlessly.
Time is Precious, Use it wisely
The last thing we need to come to for stress management is Managing Time well.
Break down your to-do lists
Break down your To-do list into smaller components.Choose what's the most important thing to do and give that priority.
Delegate
Don't Over Promise and over extend yourself.Taking on more than you can handle is a bad idea. Learn to Say no.
Focus on your health
- Get enough sleep
- Follow a Good Diet
- Meditate whenever you feel out of it. Practising mindfulness is a good way to reduce stress
- Avoid Caffeine
- Get enough sleep: I know I wrote this twice, but one can't stress (pun intended) the importance of this enough!
Summary
Stress is defined as a transaction between the individual and the environment. Anything which taxes or exceeds an individual’s resources is said to be stressful.
Some important Take Away Points for Coping Strategies :
- Different Individuals can respond differently to stress.
- Responses to stress can be through thinking patterns and behaviour.
- Coping strategies are flexible, i.e they can be ALTERED depending on the situation.The Primary ones include problem-focused coping (Like Jeff Bezos), emotion-focused coping, social support, religious coping, and cognitive reframing i.e working on your thoughts to reduce stress. These strategies are not mutually exclusive but can be used either simultaneously or sequentially in any given situation(Lazarus et al).
- They are recursive: This sounds complex but what it basically means is that an an individual can try multiple coping strategies. But the most important thing is to analyse what works and what doesn't work. Then ADAPT the coping strategy to finally arrive at what really works.
- Working on your thoughts is a really important aspect of reducing stress.Sometimes, a little training can help for this.Psychologists are trained to help you train your thoughts in the best possible way to reduce stress.CTA(Help me Train my thoughts)
Learn to train your thoughts
Experts on Rational Emotive and Behaviour Therapy can help you look at situations in a solution oriented manner and help you overcome several stressful situations by helping you train your mind and keep you ever ready to face life's challenges head on
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